Category Archives: Relationship

Increase Your Personal Value to Improve Relationships

One key concept that can help us to improve our ability to find new relationships is the concept of personal value. Personal value is the level of value that we have as a person in the eyes of others.

House Analogy

An example that can help to outline this concept of value is to look at the value of house. Every house has some level of value for what it can be sold for. This value will typically go up and down and can be impacted by many things including how the homeowner takes care of the property, any improvements they have made, and how the neighborhood surrounding it changes. The key thing to look at in this example is that the value of the house constantly goes up and down and there are things that the homeowner can do to improve it.

Just like the value of a house, we as individuals have a level of value. Everything that we do and say can make our value go up and go down in the eyes of others.

What impacts our value?

When you assess the value of any item, you typically look at many different things. The same holds true for personal value. Here are some examples of factors others can look at when assessing your level of value.

Physical appearance: Just as the appearance for a house or car can impact the level of value others place on it, the same holds true for personal value as physical appearance places a factor. It is important to note that this is not just our looks. It is also our level of fitness, fashion, and grooming. It can also be impacted by our body language. Many people are unhappy and discouraged when it comes to their own physical appearance but we each have a tremendous amount of control in this area.

Social qualities: How somebody interacts with others will impact the level of value that others give them. Qualities like being nice, funny, and interesting can increase someone’s value. Being boring, difficult, and rude can decrease someone’s personal value.

Intellect: Level of intellect can impact someone’s value. This does not mean that having college degrees is high value and not having college degrees is low value. This more refers to someone’s ability to learn and understand things while interacting with others..

Emotions: The depth of one’s emotional capacities can impact one’s level of value. The ability to care for others, sympathize, and empathize can increase one’s personal value. On the flip side, if someone has a very shallow emotional capacity, their value can be negatively impacted.

Finances: Value can be impacted by someone’s financial strength and status. It is important to note that financial strength is not synonymous with having a large amount of money. Someone could have a low level of income and have financial strength by making good financial decisions and being fiscally responsible.

Mentality: One’s mental strength can impact their value. Mental strength can be displayed by qualities like stability, rational decision making, confidence, etc.

Please note that these just a few examples of things that could impact the level of personal value one might have in the eyes of others. If you agree that some of these items could impact your level of personal value, and you agree that increasing your level of value could improve your relationships, then it could make sense to spend time and energy in areas like these to drive positive results.

Creating Great Family Relationships

When asked what is most important to them, most people respond with one word-family. When you have a family where love is expressed, and shown, the benefits are overwhelming. A happy family where respect, laughter, love, and fun exist is truly a bit of heaven on earth.

If your spouse is thoughtful, supportive, a teammate, and a friend, you’ll attain greater happiness in all areas of life. If your children are close to you, bonding as siblings, developing mentally, physically, and spiritually, who can measure the joy you will know? When the trials of the world weigh heavily upon you, your family becomes a true source of strength, encouragement, and peace-a shelter from the storm.
How can you create a satisfactory family life and still have everything you want in other areas? Is it possible to have a great family life while still accomplishing much outside the home? Not only is it possible-it must be done. Many parents achieve this balance every day.

CORE DESIRES IN YOUR FAMILY
In all of areas of life, the driving force that causes anything to happen with a high degree of joy and satisfaction is a Core Desire. If your desire is there, it’s assured that you can achieve a close family unit. The results you achieve will be directly proportional to what you want and what you do. How soon you achieve your desired results is also directly related to how much you want them. If you are committed to something 100 percent in your family relationships, you can achieve it-especially if you seek direction on how to make it happen.
To achieve satisfying family unity, you need to be very clear about your Core Desires regarding your relationships. Virtually everything you want in your family has to do with feelings. For example, you may want to feel closer to your spouse because this makes you feel accepted, appreciated, valuable, and loved.
Poetry in Stages

My wife loves poetry, and for years I did not. In the early years of our marriage she tried to share her love for poetry with me, but I told her I just wasn’t interested. I was never very sensitive or considerate about it either. Later I came to learn that not only did I hurt her feelings, but by being so adamant in my distaste, I forced part of her to close down. Not being able to share something so important with me limited our relationship.
I couldn’t envision acquiring a taste for poetry, let alone ever becoming enamored with it, as she was. This was a major obstacle I didn’t know how to overcome. I began asking myself what my Core Desires were concerning my wife. I want to know all about her-to truly understand her heart. When I am able to give her what she needs and wants, we feel closer.

I could easily see that my Core Desire was never going to be poetry, but understanding her was already a 100 on my Core Desire Scale. Once I understood this, I began to want to know why poetry touched her so much. What was it about poetry that made her happy? When I asked her these questions, she lit up. I could see that I was bringing her a great deal of joy just by caring enough to ask.
This was the first stage of my poetry experience with my wife. After understanding the impact poetry could have on her, I was motivated to please her, in some way, in this matter. Since we go on dates every Friday night, I went to the bookstore and bought two books on poetry before our next date. I had now progressed to stage two.

I planned a picnic in a beautiful park. After we ate, I pulled out the two books and said, “I’d like to read some poetry to you.”  Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she smiled and said, “Okay!”
I opened the first book and began to read the first poem. It was a short poem-only about eight lines long. I may not have read it very well, but Marci got a kick out of my efforts. When she told me she liked it, I asked her what she liked about it.

She began to explain what the words meant to her and how they made her feel. I was happy that I was able to bring her that kind of joy. Then she told me it was even more enjoyable because I brought it and read it to her. That was music to my ears. When we had finished reading both books, I felt like a million dollars for making her happy by doing something she really loved-and she told me she fell in love with me all over again! Later, I even tried to write a poem about my love for her. This was definitely stage three. The poem may have been poor, but she was so pleased that it didn’t matter. I have since written her several poems.

Self Esteem and Your Relationships

People with high self esteem are more likely to succeed in life and be able to find happiness. They have learned to value themselves. self esteem and self confidence go together and is found to be a turn on. People will find it very sexy. When we value ourselves we will also become successful in our relationships and in our marriages. You might ask why that would be it is because before the two shall be come one we must be one by ourselves. We must be whole on our own other wise we are constantly looking for others to bring us up and make us feel better about ourselves.

Self esteem is the ability to know what our good qualities and strengths are even when we are not feeling good about ourselves because of something we have done or said. It is the ability to see our short comings and love ourselves anyways because we know we can learn from it. We never give up on ourselves because we are not perfect. We are worthy of love even if we are not perfect.

Learning to love your self is a gift, a wonderful gift that you can give yourself. How do we learn to do this? We do this by not being negative about where we are now and make plans to become a better person. We need to start a journal. In this journal I want you to first write the answers to a couple of questions. What do I want out of my life? Where do I want to be in one year? Five years? How about ten years? When we make plans we are essentially setting goals for ourselves.

Write in the journal every day how you feel about yourself. Now write five things you like about yourself and five things you would like to change. We are figuring out what will make us happy. What is important to us. Then once we figure out where we want to be we need to start figuring out how we can meet our goals. In the journal that you are keeping write down what steps we need to take in order to get to where we want to be. When we write things down we can see where we have been and where we are going. It reminds you of what you need to do achieve your goals.

Now while we have made our goals we now need to separate them into three categories. One is the ones we have obtained, another one of what is right now with in our grasp and then the last one should be ones that are just slightly out of our reach but still obtainable. Remember this will be different for everyone.

We do not want to put down something like I want to win the lottery. We all want to win the lottery but having that as a goal will only set you up for a fall and we are not looking for that we are looking to improve ourselves and to become the person we want to be. Put a star next to the ones that you can accomplish today.

Knowing and Doing the Will of God Through Relationships

Relationships play an important role on our lives. This is a vital step in knowing and doing the will of God. No man is an island. We all have some one to relate to. Most have families, a father, mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, son or daughter. We also have extended families. Each one in a family will interact with us differently according to their role in our relationship.

Our relationship with God depends on how much we know Him. From that source our other relationships are defined. We may not now this but this is very true. If our relationship to God is not tuned well, we will behave as just humans to others. Our relationship to God depends on how much practice you have in knowing and doing the will of God. If you do not know God your interaction with others is purely human.

Human interactions are always reaction and not action first. We tend to react to others from what they do to us. Divine interaction is always action regardless of their actions. God will teach us how to treat each others regardless of how they treat us. This is the fundamental difference between human and divine relationship.

Why is it important to act like Christ? We fear and suffer disappointment and discouragement from human reactions. These are by nature consequences for every action and reaction. When God acts it is out of love and not revenge or paying back. Human have this pay back mentality.

God operates from forgiveness, mercy and love and we do not by nature. That is why we need to learn knowing and doing the will of God on a daily basis. This will teach us to behave like God in our relationship with others through love, forgiveness and kindness.

If God forgave you and you are grateful, then it should show in your relations to others. You will be forgiving and loving, remembering what God has done for you. Instead of taking revenge you will forgive, instead of hating you will love and instead of lies and gossip you will talk lovingly about others. You will promote brotherly kindness and love.

It is not easy. But when you begin to practice knowing and doing the will of God it will become second nature for you. You will do because you will have strength from Him as you know and obey him.

Building a Stronger Relationship Over Time

Relationships grow and survive on communication and respect. They are like tender plants that need to be nurtured and grown into beautiful plants. In the din of every day life we often forget to pay attention to our relationships unless and until some crisis develops and we find that we have lost out on communication altogether. Go through the tips given below and practice them every day to build stronger relationships that last a lifetime.

1. Keep your communications going with all members in your family. It is important that you keep one to one communication constantly with all the members in your family including your mom, dad, sisters, grand parent, spouse, kids including extended family and your in laws. Healthy relationships are good for the well being of the entire family.

These are your supports in life and stand by you in times of crisis or joyous occasions. Be it weddings, birthdays or funerals, your family is the one that gets involved.

2. One other relationship that matters to you most outside of your immediate family is with your friends. Your friends are for a lifetime. Where ever they are and however they are as compared to your, it does not really matter because nothing comes in between your friendship. You should make time to spend quality time with your friends even if it is once a year. These relationships are for a lifetime and matter most to you.

Communicating with your friends and staying in touch with them via telephone or emails and exchanging information on what is happening with each other gives you immense happiness and strengthens the relationship. All it needs is very little time and keeping communication going.

3. Make life interesting for yourself as well as for others in your family. Do not forget birthdays and anniversaries and bring them gifts for the occasion. To gift something to some one you do not really need occasions. Spring surprises on people by bringing them flowers or gift them a book or take them out for a movie and treat or simply surprise them by coming home early one day.

These small little gestures can bring a smile on their faces and watching their eyes shine bright with joy and happiness gives you a lot of satisfaction. Relationships are meant to be loved and nurtured.

Hard times do come but then they do not last. However what help you to withstand the hardships is the strength of your relationships and the support of your family backing you during your hard times. Life is short and hence it is important that you remember to maintain your relationships and tell them that you love them everyday.