Save Your Relationship by Defining It

To save your relationship, you need to start by defining it. Defining your relationship in the beginning can save both of you hours of heartache. The two of you need to be on the same page as to what each of you expects out of the relationship. In defining your relationship, you take away assumptions and expectations that may differ, and therefore stand a good chance of saving your relationship.

Problems will definitely arise if you think you are just having a fling, but your partner is thinking this could lead to a walk down the aisle. You can save your relationship by defining it, because you take out of the cards many of the pitfalls that enter into a relationship. In defining your relationship, you take away a lot of the chances of hurt feelings, broken hearts, and anguish.

It is essential if you want to save your relationship to acknowledge your wants, fears, and needs and have your partner do the same. We all think that what we do it ‘normal’, but in reality, there is no such thing s normal. What makes us all unique is our strengths, our weaknesses, our past experiences. We all do things now because of what has happened to us in the past.

Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for behavior. This means that on some very essential levels, we assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel. Most of us are aware that this isn’t the case on a conscious level, but it’s hard to put this into action all the time.

We all use our own reactions and behaviors as the basis for we see as normal. We then assume that if someone is acting the same way, they must want what we want. We all know on a gut level that that isn’t true, but it is so very easy to lull ourselves into that dream world. That is why it is so important if you want to save your relationship, you have to start by defining it.

Just as long as things are going smoothly, we convince ourselves that everything is OK, so we don’t want to rock the boat and just keep doing the same ol’ same ol’ things. I mean, if we both seem happy, then nothing can be wrong, right? The only time when most of us question our relationship is when things start to go wrong.

That is why if you truly want to save your relationship, you must define it early on. Just because your partner is happy, doesn’t mean that they are happy for the same reasons. It’s kinds like going to a movie together; you both come out of it saying how great it was, but when you get down to why you each think so, you could have very different reasons why you each thought it was so good.

That is why if you want to save your relationship, you need to start by defining from the beginning. I’m not suggesting telling the guy on the first date that you are looking for a husband; talk about a deal breaker! But after a few dates and both of you seem to be happy, you need to talk about your expectations for the relationship.

The drawn back to defining your relationship early on is that it always an uncomfortable subject to broach. Let’s face it, who wants to hear anyone say “So, where do you see us going?” Now, if your partner is sarcastic, they will say “I thought we were going to the movies”. A little humor never hurts, and it can also lead in to an easier conversation about what is really on your mind. And really, isn’t better to be uncomfortable for a few minutes in the beginning than end up heartbroken down the road?

Look at it this way, if the two of you can get through a talk about your relationship and each of your expectations in the early stages, it will make later discussions that much easier. Yes, it can be tough, but if you really want to save your relationship, you need to start by defining it; and defining it early to keep both of you from getting hurt.

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